​[The] teacher must know and experience in her daily life the secret of childhood. Through this she arrives not only at a deeper knowledge, but at a new kind of love which does not become attached to the individual person, but to that which lies in the hidden darkness of this secret. When the children show her their real natures, she understands, perhaps for the first time, what love really is. And this revelation transforms her also. It is a thing that touches the heart, and little by little it changes people. Once these facts have been seen ... nothing can cancel the impression their spirits have made and the love they were able to awaken.
- Dr. Maria Montessori, The Absorbent Mind

​It is attitude that determines how children react to adversity, overcome challenges, create bonds with others and how they learn. It has an important role to play in defining a child’s later life outcomes – for example, how they will perform on a personal level in school, the wider social world and at work. It is attitude that determines how children react to adversity, overcome challenges, create bonds with others and how they learn. It has an important role to play in defining a child’s later life outcomes – for example, how they will perform on a personal level in school, the wider social world and at work.
 
We need to raise children’s awareness of the importance of building a positive attitude and how responding in the right way can have a positive impact on their futures.
 
Carl Gustav Jung, the Swiss psychoanalyst described ‘attitude’ as an individual’s ‘state of mind’ – a responsive expression towards something, which in turn influences the individual’s thoughts and actions, and is therefore an important consideration in every child’s education.
 
It is important to value each child, to identify their aptitudes and support them in areas where they need support, which includes building positive character or personality traits.
 
Celebrating a child’s effort recognises that they have worked hard, tried challenges, tried new strategies, and learned something about themselves that they can take forward.
 
Children need to experience enthusiasm and inspiration at school and have access to positive role models. If they feel valued in this way, they will, in turn, value others.
 
Our school, as with many other schools in London and other big cosmopolitan cities, supports children and families from a diverse range of backgrounds, with a big mix of cultural attitudes. This influences children and can be confusing for them. Therefore we must  provide support for children and their families to build self confidence, raise children’s aspirations, and guide them going forward.
 
We do this by building determination, tenacity, and providing opportunities to try new things and understand that ‘getting it differently’ – not ‘wrong’ or ‘failing’ is often part of the process towards success.
 
Whole class challenges are perfect for developing resilience and strength of will, as well as collaboration, consideration for others, empathy and better communication skills. 
 
Empowering children with a sense of independence, and giving them control  and responsibility for their own choices and actions, demonstrates that their success is not  determined by others. Success lies in their own hands. Students with the right attitude go far.
 
The impact of a child’s attitude on achievement and life chances is profound. We know that positive thinking has many physical, mental and emotional health benefits, and children respond with a good attitude when they experience a well prepared environment where they can visualise a positive outcome from every scenario before even starting. 

This happens naturally at MEfA Montessori where all the curriculum activities are set out on open shelves for the children to choose from. Most of our children are excited to work toward the goal of the activity - success really matters - it helps to build a strong personality and character.

On the other hand we sometimes hear negative words from a child and then we dig deeper into the meaning behind the dialogue, asking, "What's holding you back?" "How can I help?" This shows the child that we are in it together. We play the role of the child's biggest fan and this influences children's levels of confidence. With an "I can" attitude the child gradually replaces negativity with positivity. Our belief in our students (and their parents) helps them to learn new skills, knowledge and understanding - and to acquire a good attitude and thirst for learning. It's a win, win all round.

Wendy Fidler, Head of School/Academic Director

 
There is a bizarre absence of fully realised human beings in our boys’ fictional worlds.
 
Our girls will likely have read or watched hundreds of stories framed around people, their friendships, relationships and emotions, their internal dramas and the competing emotional needs of others.
 
But, as a mother of boys, this people-driven story feels oddly alien. As toddlers they were quickly funneled into a vehicle-only narrative reality where human dilemmas may be explored through the emotional lives of fire engines, bulldozers and the occasional stegosaurus. 
 
As they aged out of digger demographic, they transitioned seamlessly into one dominated by battles, fighting, heroes, villains and mainly ‘saving the day’.
 
This narrative world contains almost no emotional complexity, negotiating, nurturing of friendships or internal conflict i.e. none of the mess of being a real human in constant relationship with other humans.
 
This lack of positive people-focused stories for boys has consequences both for them and for girls. In the narratives they consume, as well as the broader cultural landscape in which they operate, girls get a huge head start on relational skills, in the day-to-day thorniness and complexity of emotional life. 
 
Probably, because of this difference in socialisation, boys score lower than girls of the same age on  virtually all measures of empathy and social skills, a gap that grows throughout childhood and adolescence. 
 
The impact on boys mental health is also likely to be significant; from a young age girls’ friendships tend to be more intimate, deeper and more emotional focussed, providing a support structure which is often lacking for boys.
 
The stories we tell become our emotional blueprints; what we come to expect of ourselves and others and how we engage with our lives; in the vast majority of situations we are likely to encounter in the course of a lifetime, there is no hero or villain.
 
Understanding how to navigate that with grace and skill is the beating heart of human connection.
 
Wendy Fidler, MEfA Montessori School, Forest School and Well-being Garden

Before we head back to school it's a good time to help children examine their relationships with their peers.

There is so much that children have missed over the lock down period, but many were happy to skip the BFE, 'tween' and 'teen' dramas.

The physical and emotional distance from their friends has allowed children to reflect on which of their friendships they wish to take with them and which they wish to leave behind in the new school year.

We can ask our children what friendship really means to them - which three words come to mind?  Whether you ask this to a group of children, or your own child, it allows children to come up with descriptors such as, 'kind', 'loyal', 'trustworthy' or 'stands up for you'.  Ask, "When you think of your three best friends do they have these qualities?"

This type of question enables children to pay attention to their gut feelings - feelings that emerge as a kind of summary of their experiences and expectations that might otherwise be hard to put into words.

When children become mindful of how they feel, think and act when they are with specific people they learn to trust themselves.  Focusing on other children's positive traits helps them to discern who adds value to their life rather than fixating on who steals their joy.

Practising curiosity and pulling back from judgement keeps adults connected with children, without making children feel that we are criticising their choices; we have to allow them to make their own decisions.

Offering children compassion and empathy through their experiences keeps you connected and helps children to work through their feelings.

There will be positive and negative consequences from the social isolation that children and families have experienced during lock down, but there are also opportunities for growth that we can carry forward into our 'new normal'.